"The easy one"

Zack used to always call Shannon's sister Lisa the "easy one" and lord, it has never been more true.  She's been here visiting us with her Dad and Dad's new wife for a week now.  On the night she arrived, before the old folks came, we took her out to a very fancy Italian dinner.  The three of us shared two bottles of wine and ate sparsely.  Then we found a great little karaoke bar and started drinking half liter starbrno's (It's beer from Czechland).  Then she starts making eyes at this douche bag in a tight shirt singing something totally corny like Matchcrotch 20.  Next thing you know he's walking over to the table and they're chatting it up.  He leaves for a minute and I tell her, jokingly, that she's got fifteen minutes to makeout with the guy because we're leaving, it's late at this point and we're all drunk.  No problem she says and now she's over there by the bar talking to him and his buddy who she is told is horny.  No she says to the first guy I'm for you.  Next thing I know douchey has delivered fresh drinks to Shannon and me, and we didn't even want more drinks we were drunk.  Then all of a sudden she's out the front door tonguing the guy.  She comes back smiling from ear to ear. He has a girlfriend she says.  I ask her what his name is.  Marcus or Marco...she laughs.  We all walk back home and Lisa's not feeling good.  She starts puking into the toilet and passes out next to the toilet.  Shannon insists that she put herself in bed, but Lisa cannot be reached she is passed out.  Amazing, 20 hours in town and she has madeout with some Austrian dude and passed out next to our toilet.  

But this is even better...

Last night we all, including the oldfolks now, go to the Ambassador's residence for the cooking class (the ambassador's residence is currently vacant).  It's us and this nice cute couple from the Embassy and the cook, Fabian.  Fabian has a girlfriend they live on the edge of town with their 3 great Danes.  He's barefoot in the kitchen his hair pulled back in a ponytail, he's unkempt wearing cargo shorts, his teeth are kind of funky, but he's cool and has a funny accent.  We go through all of the ambassador's beer and then four bottles of wine.  We cook an awesome pork roast with dumplings and slaw.  Really really really good.  Next think we know Lisa is missing...and so is the cook.  This happens a few more times while we are all cleaning up. Then as we are getting into the car she's making out with the cook in the glow of the brake lights. Her dad is in the way back of the SUV and has the best view.  Amazing.

Quick Update

I'm in the middle of a Salamone visit to Vienna.  I think I can tell that my ass is a little bigger than before they came.  We have eaten everything.  Lisa brought donuts from NY to get us started off right.  And then some boiled beef, dumplings and roasted pork, pizza, middle eastern, schnitzel, more pizza.  Right now its 7:30 in the morning and everyone has gotten up early so that we can all go to breakfast together at a French place we love.  They serve amazing croissants and marmelade and honey, oh lord.  Tonight we are going to a cooking class at the Ambassador's residence.  Apparently there is no Ambassador right now but they still have a full-time cook on staff so he's been giving cooking classes to the embassy folks.   We went last week and had a nice time.  We cooked up a whole mess of food and then sat down at the big formal dining table and used the fancy plates and silverware.  

New toy

My beautiful new macbook came in the mail today.  Shannon saw the glee on my face as I was opening it, sneered and said, "it"s not even your birthday."  No, she's right, this thing is way cooler than anything I've ever got for my birthday.   I would say more but I'm tired.  It's been a long week but there is good news: tomorrow is a random Austrian holiday.  So as long as Colfax is cool with it I'm going to sleep in tomorrow.   

Things have been great lately, and I have no doubt that the change in the weather has played a huge role. We've been spending a lot of time outside in the sun. This is a picture of Shannon and I in Munich. That was two weekends ago. We got shown around by a couple how had lived there for several years. Europe is always great for those moments when you say to yourself: wait why don't we do this in the States? Munich's example of this is the Biergarten concept. I'm sure you are all familiar with the concept and application of the Biergarten in some form but Munich"s biergartens are ridiculous. Munich has beauftiful huge parks and in the middle of every one I went to there was a Biergarten with pic-nic tables and a booth selling locally brewed Liter-sized beers. They are incredibly popular in Munich. It's the thing to do. If it's nice you go to the park, take a walk, and drink a beer. This is called gemutlichkeit in German. The German's claim the work has no translation but it basically translates to relax, get drunk, and enjoy yourself. Which I did over and over again in Munich. I don't know why we don't do this in the States. Phoenix, for example is filled with Parks and there isn't one that wouldn't benefit from a Biergarten.

On the way home from Munich we took a drive through a section of the Alps south of Salzburg. Totally ridiculous. So stunningly beautiful that I find myself drawn to them more everytime I see them. There's something about Europe. I love the ruggedness of the mountains in the US West, and the Alps don"t have that but they have majesty. They're flawless. Too bad I don't have a picture of that huh. Well next time.

This weekend we might go to Madrid if everything goes well. I want to see a bullfight. I must admit I couldn't careless if the bulls suffer. I am under no allusion that the beef I eat comes from cows who had pleasant experiences.

Okay so that's it for now except I am happy to report that I ordered a new MacBook which should arrive soon, which I hope leads to more posting.

My cat is bored

Colfax enjoyed the first month or so in the apartment but now he wants out. He waits by the door and peers out into the hallway when its open. I've let him out a few times. He runs up our building's spiral staircase until he gets to the top and then pathetically lets me pick him up. Shannon bought him a new harness, despite my warnings that its a waste of time. She wants to take him on walks around the block. Right. We live in the major tourist area of Vienna. The sidewalks are almost always busy. He wouldn't have it. Although once in Paris I saw a man with a cat sitting on Boulevard Saint Michel (which for you uncultured peasants is a busy tourist street in Paris) and the cat was fine -- he seemed happy. I've been thinking about pushing harder for another cat. Colfax would be a great older brother. I really think he needs something to abuse. It would bring him great peace. Now I miss my sister.

Shannon is off on a business trip to...places most people have no business going to. She called me last night while I was at a bar with two of my buddies from German class. Claudio's girlfriend was out of town so he was feeling adventurous. He wanted to talk to girls, he wasn't going to touch them, he said, just talk to them. Michel from Quebec how is married to an Austrian apparently does this all the time. I usually never talk to girls at bars unless I'm apologizing for spilling on them. So we went to a bar near my house, and there was a group of hot blonde girls. We looked at them for a good hour or so spent the evening drinking fosters and tequila shots and discussing how much weed costs in different places.

Work has been a tad grueling. I had to laugh this evening. I left at 9:00 and there were a bunch of associates sitting in the kitchen eating take-out. I'm sure they were staying well past 10:00. I don't get it. What on earth would make you want to sit in a chair and stare at a computer that long. Money, I know. The firm gave me a blackberry but the phone function doesn't work on our blackberries because they're from London (I don't get it) -- so they issued me a separate cell phone. So even with all this advanced technology available I carried the following to work: Blackberry, business cell phone, private cell phone, I-pod.

I ate lentil soup for dinner. That's what I ate when Shannon is away because she doesn't like. I have to go to bed now so that I can get up early and go to the gym before work. It's going to be tough. Shannon paid for an expensive membership to this really upscale gym near our house so I have to start going. I'm so cheap that the guilt I feel about wasting money is actually a very effective way to motivate me to exercise. I need to exercise. I sit on my ass a lot.

Random note: Pavement's "Here" is so good.

Balls

One of the big things out here are the Balls. You know tuxedos and floor length dresses, waltzing, blah blah blah. But the best part about balls is that people have to say "balls." For example I was at my firm's happy hour this evening having a very intelligent conversation with a young associate from the corporations division about how much she "enjoys balls." According to her, "balls are really fun."

Ach Scheize

So I started my job. Get this, the "core" hours are from 9 to 7. That's right, I can't leave work before 7. Shannon called me at work the first day at around 5:45 to ask where I was. I told her about the core hours and started giggling uncontrollably. Then I felt like crying. Last week I was playing ping-pong and drinking beer in the afternoons.