I never liked that stupid salamander

So Shannon and I had the option of shipping one of our cars over here. We chose to ship my Grand Cherokee because it was newer than her Civic. We sold her Civic and now the Jeep is on a boat on its way here. I was tasked with finding insurance for the car. No problem I thought. Well, I contacted Geico which has offices over here and they, very politely, told me that they could not insure me because I have 13 points on my license, 3 tickets in the last 5 years. Is that bad? I don't think so. I haven't been in an accident since I was 18. I wrote them back and asked them if they could put Shannon on the policy and get insured that way. She said that they couldn't insure her as long as I was on the policy. I have been judged. The real irony is that the Geico office I contacted is in Germany and they don't even have speed limits, so what the hell do they care that I was caught going 88 in a 75 last summer. Which brings me to this tangent. I liked the caveman Geico commercials. They were nuanced, but I have never liked that stupid Salamander. Why does he have a british accent? Geico be damned! I will curse their name across this continent and the next! Hear me Salamander species! I will smear you across any wall on which I find you!